We dreamed a dream (:

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

...How do I start this..so hard to make decision right now..But I need too..If I didnt do this I would be hurt too much..

I must change the way how I love guys..cos I always been hurt by them...I dunno what did I do them..Tat's y..maybe I need to change myself..Haha.. Maybe I become too bad for the past few years of my life..Tat's y Im suffering this too much.. I cant blame other people or whatever,whoever on what's happening on my life..Maybe I just deserve it..

In love..maybe I need to close now my heart. Im scared now to fall in love again. Ive been hurt too much..And I can't bear one more pain..:'(( I wished Im always a child..easy to hurt but easy to forget the pain..Just give sweets..LOLx..sna mdaling mgtago ng sakit n nararamdaman kuh! hehe kya yan..TRA TRA...

..O cia cia.. short briefing of my past days..

25 Oct - Tat day we( alyssa, kate, and jez) supposed to be applying a new part time job..But we postponed it cause asked Udin again..If its true tat $14 per hour..LOLx..super big..haha its not funny! so we decided to watched some game..hmnn I had some regrets on tat day. I should talk to him but I didnt do..but nvm its ok..much better.. so its not too hard for me to stop dreamin on him..hehe:( Im a little bit happy cos im wif bebes..we went bugis..of course..I noe eu noe..if wad's d purpose y we wnt there..to see our lovely dress..haha..tat's all!

26 Oct - of course at church!..spend the half day wif my GOd...tnx..eur still there for me. I noe eu r still making the best love story for me..In the right time..so pls..dun leave me!

27 Oct - Yesterday..yahh my bday..my worst bday??LOLx:'( I crazy missing them..Those people who could make my bday always memorable..even we dun hav money...But still thankful for those people who greeted me..Thanks to my mom..although she never give me gift..Im still happy cos she gave too much effort on my day. Im happy to have a parents like them..But still der's a part of me tat cannot find the happiness I wan..

Nothings permanent..only changes..and that was the thing I need to do.. Change a Lot!

TRUST HIM (:

Friday, October 24, 2008

22 Oct- This day I'm supposed to be at his game..watching him playing and cheering for him..LOLs,,too much regret.. I didnt watch his last game..I should see him playing well..I dunno but this guy really made me happy...His name is Sam..shocks..If I would describe him..His really unreachable..Eu noe the thing that all this could be a fantasy only..:))))Even I didnt watch his game..still we got a time to chat..They are lose but then..the good thing is he was improving based on the story of Kuya Marc and Vandamme.I noe at tis time they're telling d truth. Now he was really interested wif me..i mean he wanted me to be his friend..coz i was involved in bball..I know a lot abt bball..We both want the PBA.. is it..??This day also..Van and marc bluffed abt him..They told me that he was injured..I dunno but I became too much worried..Then when I confirmed to Sam,if he was really injured..He said no lah..I thank hmnn..lucky..then after we chat..I sleep..go to my bed..And I was really really happy..as in super happy...

23Oct- I come frm church then..we didnt chat..but stiLL happy cos I heard a news that they win this night...Me and Jez also ate some food like Hokkien mee..haha..super aLat..Milo Feng tunggaan..LOLX

24Oct- He gave me alrdy d presnt tat i want..cos d last time we chat..I ask him for a presnt fr my bday..He should played well tonight in this game..then he told me tat they won..I think He was really inspired..And I have a feeling that his making jeLLy with Vndm..LOLx..DI KAMI TALO nun..He always give me reason to smile..after we chat this night..I just recognize sumthing..

..Remember his jersey is 18 and the date that we felt sumthing sparky is 18 Oct..LOLSx..
..so coincidence..as niel said in conference love is in d air..LOLxx..hahaha:D)))

TRUST HIM (:

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

..i was really happy a while ago...

-,+I went to lysa's house..cos i thot we're going to ECP but then suddenly the planned changed..
we just decided to stay at home..and then wait for someone to be OL...:Dlolx...
..eu really mke me smile..

-'+Then at d aft..Marc called at house...then we went at aljunied to met him and vandamme..we run and run with all our full force....because we thought at dat time..Marc dun wan to go wif them to watch their game...We really feel pathetic..luckily they decided to met us again...Then that was the time we really go at their game..

-,+The exciting part is when im their already at the Gym or whatever...We're still shy so we are waiting for Kua Marc to asked us..to go inside..But..I dunno if what would eu call in this thing...Marc called me then he dunno that Sam was at his behind that's why..Im shocked..too much happy..He smiled at me..wahhhh..Then when we are inside..it was cold...Then Im just happy there watching over him...:DD))))

-,+Then we decide to go home...When we are in bus..We're very noisy..cos of vandamme..He was really fun to be with..then he gave me the towel of Sam...then thats all lah...

-,+Then when I got home..I opened friendster...and worried againn...

...+this is the saddest part.. one of my friend hav a prob then I dunno how to help her...

...cos evrytime hmmn got prob.. Icannot really feel the happiness..tat I wan...Ur a special to me thats why I need to be at least someone to eu...

...I wan help to help eu...so jus tell me...how...???

TRUST HIM (:

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

..Today so tired....

..cos I was just sitting in front of com..

..haha..my bro was angry to me already coz...

..he said uve been there in morning then until night also???

..wahahahahaha...bLeh:p

..cos his just going to pLay DOTA online games...

..hahaha..at d aft'noon..I was chatting wif amppfff...

..tHen he said.."tmr chat wid eu"

,,haha..the onLy thing I know is eu mde me smile even if i dun have reason...

..evrytime i think of you..It was just like Im dreaming haha...

..Then at night..-tonight- I was shocked by some blog....

..my BEZ BUI..she was affected bcos of d video in her site...

..that's why she feels alone...

..jus kiddin...

..no?! its true dat she's sad that why...

.. im giving eu this...:P

TRUST HIM (:

Friday, October 17, 2008

Yehey Im back...HAhaha,,miss mah bLogsite..

Never mind I just tell you what happened in my past few days..ahahs Time is so fast... Its been a week after I post again...

9 Oct - Oh this day is the last day of our course in PH, of course like what I've said I need to avoid him. I went at course by myself. Then, luckily I got new friend. Her name is Justine. She gave me her e-add but then I lost it...
10 Oct - Nothings happened, Its just normal day..Fullship in my work...That's why I didnt post on that day..
11 Oct - I woke up late..but the I tried my best to woke up early so I could attend to worship service. But then I still woke up late so I just fixed myself so I could make attend the "pagdadalaw". After the "pagdadalaw", Me, ate Heidz, Ate Lariz, and Kuya Rics decide to ate at Yoshinoya. Im lucky because Ate Heidz treated me in food...Thanks Ate Heidzz....
12 Oct - I woke up late that's why I couldn't attend the CWS worship srvce..But then I still performed in the afternoon at sec...
13 Oct - I didn' t work in this day and then I just accompannied my brother at his test in MOE. It was held in Expo. I've been here at Singapore for 6 months but then this the first I went at Expo..hahaha...stupid innocent...hahaha:))))
14 Oct - I've worked on morning only then I went home early and sleep....
15 Oct - I supposed to be working on this day, but then I need to attend something in afternoon that's why...And Im happy also cause I went to Lysa's house and I've chat wif sumone _ _ _ _ _ _...hmnn:))))))))
16 Oct - Yesterday Iwent Bugis wif my ate. She bought her shoes and I bought sandals..again:hahaha..Then at afternoon I went to Church..After the WS..Ate Lei treated us Milo Feng..It was good for the Secretariat officer to have a bonding-once aweek...ehhehehe...

TRUST HIM (:

Thursday, October 9, 2008

This could be the test of our friendship.As long as you living, still there is a hope.

Yesterday, I woke up so late. I fixed myself, brushed my teeth, drunk coffee, ate fried rice and hotdog. After that I've opened the computer to surf net..check my email and what so ever..I've start my day with a smile hoping that this day(yesterday) could be a quite peace or we could say better than yesterday. After an hour i felt sleepy again. Then i gave the com to my brother..

This is the lesson that Ive learned since i was young..Smile even there's a big big problem. Don't feel so pathetic because you're not the only person who's suffering that kind of pain..They may said to me..Oh you can say that thing because you've experienced already a lot..That's the wrong impression they always made to me..Yes..I've experienced a lot about lablyf.. I'm quite good in that thing..In friendship- I might be stupid in that thing because several or almost of my friends that passed by in my life. They are the one who's holding me when i'm in troubles or when i have problems..they always tell me everythings gonna be fine.. I've asked them..why ur still here although I dont have anything to give??"that's what friends are for..we fiLL the emptiness of each other.."

You're much luckier than me..you only felt loneliness because ur real friend was far away from you..Try to feel the loneliness that I've felt when I was in high school..All my friends and bestfriends left me..U noe d feeling that u have an illnesses. Nobody wants to be with you..I've felt that in one day and that was also the day that i really felt the warmth embrace of God..The day that he never leaves me..The day tat im really really hopeless.. I looked at the sky and called him..Please dont leave and please help me to encounter this kind of problem..I was so pathetic in that day..I cried so much..Like other says "there is always sunshine after the rain"IT was true,the day after I felt that thing..My bestfriends come with me and asked me again for the whole thing..then they understand me..

When Im growing up..my realization comes bigger and bigger..Life is so unfair but God's hand was there to make it fair enough for you..But you need first to be righteous to him..Prove to him tat u reallly lab him..Problems is just a twist in your life..Life is nothing..if u dont know how to suffer problems and happiness in life..Be contented enough..Try to treasure the things in ur surrounding now..B'coz in the blink of an eye..It can be lost like a bubble...Life is a cycle...

I couldn't be enough for you..but i can be somebody to you..And I'm not trying to beat ur special sumone..because they are special to you...And u noe why nobody understands u in the way that u want..Because ur not yet ready to opened up everything in u...

TRUST HIM (:

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Sorry for one day inconvenience due to my eyes is not feeling well...

Last night i didn't post because of Joe Jonas.He convince me to watch his movie "the camp rock".. OMG he and his brother..so so handsome..They are my ideal man...If one day I see them,then that's the day I can die already..hmmppfff so exaggerated ha??

TRUST HIM (:

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Today, I feel refresh..my heart, my soul, my mind. My vision changes.All the negatives in my body was blown away.Sunday could be the best day in a week not only because I was inside the church.I might be feeling that im in the peace world..Im enough confident, i never worried..I really felt the blessings that God gave me this day. I will never forget all the teachings that i heard nor neglect to always praise unto God..I willing to accept all the things that he want me to do..Even it causes me pain..I need to sacrifice and i knew that God will never leave.My bez bui JEZ also help me to forget all the things that bothered me.U noe wad we watch the movie of John Lloyd and Sarah..Im quite amaze bcoz im not expecting that jL and sarah would be having a good chemistry.It gives us so much butterfly not because we we're envy of them. They just shown to us that if u love sumone u will gib evrything even if its causing u so much pain..Actually one of my dream love is like that eu and ur boy against the world..No one can hinder each one of eu...

..haiii...e2ng mLupet c Lysa..inggit n inggit nah...A very special love tLaga...hahha

TRUST HIM (:

Thursday, October 2, 2008

..Sorry, I cannot post now..I'll be back soon...kheizsss..:DDDDD

TRUST HIM (:

..hahaha.. Its normal day today but mixed emotions..On morning I'm happy but still thinking of someone..Then when I got in worked.. I feel so much tired..We assisted so many customer because of the stupid free thing lah...WA Lao...They felt that PH is a food court. Its just like that there's no more other resto at the mall.,,U noe ahh..If Ur starving already why u still stand at the long queue and wait for the staff to serve u..Why they don't try to go at food court buy some cheapest food, then u don't need to queue at all..Now I'm confused about my feelings for him..I like him but there's so many things bothered me..Too many to mention eh..Maybe i need more time to think and think about him...Is he a part of my dreams already...or i just need to find some new one..I felt lyk giving up on him..Do i still hold to my dreams and make myself believe that someday he will lyk me also...waaaaaahhh i need to talk to my jez MA...I need some advice...

..ok im sleepy already..nite nite...zZZzz

TRUST HIM (:

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Im really happy today....I cant express eh,,,its really too much...I felt so much happiness like I will nver have tomorrow. For others its just a simple day but for me this could be the happiest at all..U noe what ..after 2 days longing for him.. I saw him already..Actually Im not expecting this thing eh,like im not in the mood to work..IM lazy already,not feeling wa lao..U noe the feeling tat much better if i just at home surfing net,eating, sleeping..Destiny ehh,,Ive worked at Ph then Im wif him..We laughed together..His really comfortable wif me now..his talkative but then I still like him..This could be against wif sumone but I cant help myself lyking him eh...Aii yoh cupid hit my heart..Sometimes Im nervous when he was there..Im asking myself if Im pretty enough...wahhhh crazy mah...Im always thinking of him..even in my dreams he was there ,,,This could be too much but it happened eh.............I fall in luv and i get out..wahhh stop dreaming mah...he will nver be yours...Still hoping when u will b mine?????

..ok till here...gudnite,,

TRUST HIM (: